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Stop Apologizing!

Last week I went to California Pizza Kitchen with a friend of mine, I shared about my choices there in a previous post if you would like to see what I ended up ordering. Beyond that, however, I wanted to share with you the mild anxiety that I faced in making those decisions.

I've started the Time Management Course and was listening to Heather Robertson promote it when she was preparing its release last September. It dawned on me, as she shared her experience in prioritizing her own goals over others (not in selfishness, but in an effort to take care of herself), that I often feel the need to apologize for taking care of myself. Not only in managing my time, but also in my experience at CPK. Let me explain...

I gave myself permission to take my time in looking at the menu. When I found a suitable meal that was going to limit my carb intake, I began to order. However, the lunch specials of the 7" pizzas were pre-made and I was not able to order it on glutton free crust. I apologized to the server and to my friend for needing a few more moments to look over the menu! It seems silly, but I felt the pressure at that moment almost to order the whole glutton free pizza (15") and take the rest home. Well, I knew my budget would not allow for that, but I almost set aside my needs (and the needs for our household) to make that moment more convenient for others. I was glad that I did not, but it took an added effort to find the confidence to say, "You know what, I need more time to make this decision."

I do this all the time! I stop thinking of my family's needs and make an additional effort to serve everyone else. It is a godly thing to serve others and put them above ourselves. However, the mindset that I need to retrain is one in which I serve others to the point where I am too exhausted to take care of myself or my family. Kind of like the idea of putting on my own oxygen mask before I help my child. If I try to help my child first, I'm going to pass out and we are both going to suffocate!

If I fail to prioritize my time so that I am able to care for myself, my family and our household; I will in turn make ministry and service to others ineffective.
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