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Goals, Expectations, and Hitting Refresh

These past few weeks have been difficult to get on a plan and to be self-controlled. I ha
ve found myself over-indulging with food, slacking in my work, and losing focus on my goals. Then I realized this week that it is because I have too many of them; which actually translates, "I have no goals at all."

Have you ever sat down, made a to-do list, stared at it with overwhelming stress and anxiety, promptly set the list aside and then did nothing? Well, that's what having too may goals is. My focus is scattered, I cannot see progress in anything, I am frustrated by the sinking feeling of defeat and then I simply give up.

Earlier this week, I realized the foundation of my problem and hit the reset button. After sitting down and spending some cleansing time in prayer and Bible reading, I made the most cleansing decision I have practiced in weeks: I deleted everything from my Google calendar. As I clicked, "Are you sure you want to delete this calendar, this action cannot be undone," I immediately felt the weight float from me.

The weight of my self-imposed expectations of all the things I feel need to be accomplished. The burden of feeling the need to be where I WANT to be tomorrow, instead of focusing on the progress of today. It was amazing. I am currently taking the week to improvise and feel out what really is pressing and what goals I truly desire to accomplish, as opposed to piling on list after list of what "should" be done.

Clearing the planner was a key piece to recognizing my anxiety so that I could let it go and start anew. I released all of my expectations for our the week should look, and gave myself permission to a fresh start.
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